Welcoming a new baby into the family is a beautiful and transformative moment. But for your older child, it can feel confusing, unsettling, or even threatening. Suddenly, the attention, rhythm, and relationships they’re used to are about to shift—and that shift can stir up a wide range of emotions.
The way you prepare your child for a sibling will shape how they experience the transition—and how they relate to the baby in the months and years ahead. With compassion, communication, and consistency, you can help your child feel secure and valued, while embracing their new role in a growing family.
Here’s how to prepare your child emotionally and practically for a new sibling, in a way that honors their needs and builds lasting connection.
Start the Conversation Early and Keep It Going
The earlier you start talking about the baby, the better. This gives your child more time to process and ask questions in a low-pressure way.
Use simple, age-appropriate language.
For toddlers: “There’s a baby growing in Mommy’s belly.”
For older kids: “Our family is growing, and that means things will change—but we’re going to go through it together.”
Incorporate books and stories.
There are many excellent children’s books that help explain pregnancy and the arrival of a sibling. Some trusted favorites include:
- The New Baby by Mercer Mayer
- I’m a Big Brother / I’m a Big Sister by Joanna Cole
- Hello in There! by Jo Witek
Many of these can be found in your local library or online retailers like Barnes & Noble.
Show pictures or ultrasound images and talk about how the baby is growing. Frequent, gentle reminders help normalize the idea and reduce surprises.
Let Them Help with Preparations
When your child is involved in the process, they feel like part of the change rather than pushed aside.
Ways to involve them:
- Let them choose a onesie or blanket for the baby.
- Ask their opinion on nursery decorations or toys.
- Pack the hospital bag together.
- Talk about what might happen when labor starts—where they’ll be and who will care for them.
These small roles build a sense of ownership and importance.
HealthyChildren.org by the American Academy of Pediatrics also suggests using pretend play with dolls to help children explore caregiving roles.
Manage Expectations About Life with a Baby
Most kids love the idea of a baby—but the reality (crying, less attention, interrupted routines) can be jarring.
Set realistic expectations gently:
- “Babies cry a lot because they can’t talk yet.”
- “Mom and Dad will be busy feeding the baby sometimes, but we’ll still have special time with you.”
- “The baby will sleep a lot at first and won’t be able to play just yet.”
By preparing your child for these changes, you reduce the chance of resentment or feeling forgotten.
Tell Them Their Baby Story
Remind your child that they were once the baby who received all the attention.
Pull out baby photos or videos and tell stories about their birth, first words, or silly toddler moments. Say things like:
- “I remember how excited we were to meet you.”
- “You used to love this toy too when you were little.”
- “You changed our world the moment you arrived.”
This reinforces their unique place in the family and reassures them they’re not being replaced.
Be Honest About Mixed Emotions
A new sibling is a big change, and it’s okay for your child to feel excited one minute and upset the next. Normalize this emotional rollercoaster:
- “It’s normal to have all kinds of feelings about a new baby.”
- “Sometimes you might feel left out or annoyed. I’m here to talk about it whenever you need.”
- “No matter what changes, you are always loved.”
Validating your child’s feelings helps prevent bottled-up emotions and tantrums.
Schedule Special One-on-One Time
Before and after the baby arrives, carve out time that is just for your older child. It doesn’t have to be long—just intentional.
Ideas:
- A bedtime story ritual
- A walk around the block
- A short game or puzzle before dinner
- A Saturday morning breakfast “date”
Consistency and attention will remind your child they’re still a priority, even when the baby requires a lot of your focus.
Expect (and Accept) Regression
Regression is normal. Your potty-trained child might ask for diapers. Your independent preschooler may want to be carried again.
This behavior is not manipulation—it’s a way of seeking connection.
Respond with calm and compassion:
- “It’s okay. I understand you want to be my baby too sometimes.”
- “I’ll help you now, just like I did when you were little.”
Avoid scolding or punishing regression. With support and time, your child will return to their previous level of independence.
Give Them a Special Role
Position your child as an important part of the baby’s life—not a side character.
Examples:
- “The baby will look up to you so much.”
- “You can help me pick a lullaby.”
- “You’re the expert on making the baby laugh!”
Celebrate their contributions. Say things like:
- “You’re such a loving big sister.”
- “Thank you for helping. The baby is lucky to have you.”
Avoid pressure to be perfect or overly responsible. The goal is pride, not pressure.
Encourage Open Dialogue
Let your child share freely without judgment. Check in regularly:
- “How are you feeling about the baby today?”
- “What are you looking forward to?”
- “What’s been hard?”
Offer creative outlets too—drawing, storytelling, or imaginative play are great tools for emotional expression, especially for young children.
If your child is struggling to express themselves, Zero to Three offers excellent insights and tips.
Celebrate the Transition
Make the moment feel joyful and memorable.
- Throw a “Big Sibling” party.
- Give them a gift “from the baby.”
- Let them choose a “sibling day” activity.
These rituals mark the transition as something exciting and empowering—not just something that’s happening to them.
Keep Routines Consistent
Babies disrupt schedules—but try to maintain consistency where it matters most to your child.
- Stick with familiar bedtime routines.
- Keep mealtime rituals the same when possible.
- If others are helping care for your older child, ensure they keep similar routines.
Predictability creates emotional safety.
Let the Relationship Develop Naturally
Don’t rush or force bonding. It’s okay if your child is unsure, uninterested, or even avoids the baby at first.
Instead of saying, “You need to love your brother,” say:
- “You’re getting to know each other. That takes time.”
- “The baby already loves hearing your voice.”
Let their connection grow in its own time, with gentle encouragement and space.
Final Thoughts: Growing Together with Love
Preparing your child for a new sibling is about more than managing logistics—it’s about nurturing emotional connection through change.
By validating their feelings, involving them in the journey, and maintaining trust and routine, you help your child feel secure and empowered—not sidelined.
You’re not just preparing for the baby’s arrival. You’re laying the groundwork for a family culture of empathy, communication, and lifelong bonds.
And in that process, you’re reminding your child of a truth they’ll carry forever:
They are loved. They belong. And they are not being replaced—they’re growing, right alongside your heart and your home.